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Hawaiʻi State Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Healthy Relationship 101

Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and love.

Are you in a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships look like:

  • Both partners treat each other with equality, love and respect.
  • You’re honest with your partner and trust them.
  • You talk openly about problems and listen to one another.
  • You respect each other’s opinions.
  • You and your partner solve problems without violence.
  • You and your partner keep relationships with friends and family outside of your own relationship.
  • You talk about birth control choices together and both consent to sexual activity.

What is an abusive relationship?

In an abusive relationship, one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other person by limiting their freedom and isolating them from friends and family. Domestic violence is a pattern of abuse that occurs over a period of time.

Signs you are in an abusive relationship:

  • Your partner monitors your calls, messages and social media.
  • Your partner tries to keep you from seeing your friends and family.
  • Your partner tells you how you should dress, who you can and cannot talk to, and where you can and can’t go.
  • Your partner never apologizes for their bad behavior, and instead finds ways to put the blame on you.
  • Your partner controls the household finances without discussion, including taking your money or refusing to provide money for necessary expenses like food or rent.


If you, or someone you know, have experienced any of these behaviors, help is available.

Check out the most immediate or 24/7 services below or view a complete list of resources in our Get Help section.

County of Kaua'i

YWCA of Kaua‘i (24/7)

  • DV Crisis Hotline: (808) 245‐6362
  • DV Shelter Hotline: (808) 245‐8404

City & County of Honolulu (Island of O'ahu)

Domestic Violence Action Center

Child and Family Service (24/7)

  • DV Shelter: (808) 841‐0822

Parents and Children Together (24/7)

  • DV Shelter: (808) 526‐2200

Catholic Charities

  • M‐F: 8:30am‐8:00pm, Sat: 8:00am‐12:00pm
  • Counseling Center: (808) 527‐4470

County of Maui (Moloka'i, Lana'i, Maui)

Women Helping Women

  • Maui DV Shelter: (808) 579‐9581 (open 24/7)
  • Maui TRO Assistance: (808) 446‐7379 (M‐F: 8:00am‐4:00pm)
  • Lana‘i DV Shelter: (808) 563‐0216 (open 24/7)

Moloka‘i Community Service Council (24/7)

  • DV Hotline: (808) 567‐6888

Child and Family Service Maui (24/7)

  • Crisis Hotline: (800) 753‐6879

County of Hawai'i

Child & Family Service (24/7)

  • East Hawai’i DV Shelter: (808) 959-8864
  • West Hawai’i DV Shelter: (808) 322-7233


Lavender Clinic

  • LGBTQ+ healthcare provider on Oahu
  • Honolulu & Waianae Offices: (808) 744‐2543

Hawai‘i LGBTQ+ Legacy Foundation

  • One‐stop LGTBQ+ resource center
  • (808) 369‐2000

Sexual Assault

Sex Abuse Treatment Center (24/7)

  • Statewide Hotline: (808) 524‐7273

YWCA of Kaua‘i (24/7)

  • Sexual Assault Hotline: (808) 245‐4144

Child and Family Services (24/7)


Military One Source (24/7)

  • Toll Free: (800) 342‐9647
  • TTY: Dial 711 then (800) 342‐9647


Legal Aid Society of Hawai‘i

  • Oahu: (808) 536‐4302
  • Neighbor Islands: (800) 499‐4302


National Domestic Violence Hotline

  • Open 24/7 and available in 200+ languages
  • (800) 799‐7233
  • TTY: (800) 787‐3224
  • Chat:

Trans Lifeline

  • 24/7 hotline with trans operators
  • (877) 330‐6366

National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline


Download HSCADV’s brochure to share our resources and information on healthy relationships.

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